Excited yet anxiety so far.. I have been 2 years at work and afterwards I want to apply my dream scholarship ever in UK, it's Chevening. I prayed in that time to God. I wanted to work first before get a chance to study master degree. And now, He gave me what I want and beyond. He gave more than I asked, but I cannot deal with these problems and overwhelmed. I left my first job in last December 2017 to decide my selfishness determination. After that, I can focus on this scholarship and I will prepare for the another scholarship, LPDP. However, all my plan got ruined. We plan to, but God has His execution. I unemployed for about 2 months with anxiety and Mum's murmuring. I thought it was inconstant distractions, but it gained a monster worries inside my mind and soul. Because of financial matters, I finally looking a job (AGAIN) to stimulate our daily need. Pay bills, church-needs and more. I am working because of MONEY. I neglected the brain-skills and choose th